Becoming More Me

At this point in my life, I’m choosing to treasure myself. That has meant releasing judgment, loosening the grip of old beliefs, and softening around the pressure to be anything other than who I am.

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Of course, I still have my tender spots. Shame, guilt, and self-doubt—the familiar trio born of a chaotic childhood still visit from time to time. It’s taken me years to see that the hardships I’ve faced and the mistakes I’ve made aren’t signs that I’ve fallen short. They’re part of the fabric of my life that's still unfolding, forever teaching me how to meet myself with more grace.

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What I know to be true is that life can be full, hard, and complicated. And yet, there’s beauty woven through it all—if we choose to see it. Of course, it’s human to wish the painful lessons would pass us by, but they still come. The deaths of my mom and sister brought me to my lowest point, yet somehow, in that darkness, I made my greatest leap into fully living and finding joy. I know it might not make sense, but what I’ve come to feel—deeply—is that God always meets me in the most unexpected, tender ways.

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What grounds me and fills me with joy these days is simple: my family—my husband, my two sons, and my new daughter-in-law—and the quiet beauty of the natural world. I find peace among flowers and plants, in the wildness that reminds me to love more and take myself less seriously.

 

Each day, both my family and the living world around me teach me that life isn’t something to perfect, but something to meet with presence and heart. And while I may never have it all figured out, I no longer need to—because this becoming, this unfolding, is the life I choose to live.

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