Becoming More Me

At this point in my life, I’m choosing to treasure myself. That has meant releasing judgment, loosening the grip of old beliefs, and softening around the pressure to be anything other than who I am.

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Of course, I still have my tender spots. Empty, nothing, worthless — a familiar trio born of a chaotic childhood. It’s taken me years to see that the mistakes I’ve made aren’t signs that I’ve fallen short. They’re part of the fabric of my life that's still unfolding, forever teaching me how to meet myself with more love and grace.

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What I know to be true is that life is full of ups and downs. And yet, there’s beauty woven through it all. It's human to wish the painful lessons pass us by, but they still come. The deaths of my mom and sister brought me to my lowest point, yet somehow, I made my greatest leap into living, finding peace and realizing that God is always there, meeting me in my tenderness showing me the way through. 

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What grounds me and fills me with joy these days is simple: my family—husband, two sons, and my new daughter-in-law—and the quiet beauty of the natural world. I find peace among flowers and plants, their wildness and beauty remind me to love more.

 

Each day, both my family and the living world around me teach me that life isn’t something to perfect, but something to meet with presence and heart. And while I may never have it all figured out, I no longer need to—because this becoming, this unfolding, is the life I choose to live even if they way isn't always clear.

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